


This is it

by Jashin88



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 17:03:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6478612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jashin88/pseuds/Jashin88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started with a simple phone call, an invitation. Jim doesn´t know why he agreed in the first place, maybe because it´s just getting to much – the cases, Lee, Barbara – and if there´s something Oswald does well it´s listen. Information make him thrive, even when they are trivial. And Jim´s desperate enough to not mind the risks that come with associating with Oswald Cobblepot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is it

***

He´s in love.

The realization hits him like a punch to the stomach, making him flinch back. The hands on his waist loosen their grip in response, and pale blue eyes stare up at him. Jim swallows hard. Oh god, he´s _in love_.

“James?” There´s way too much concern in the way his name is said, and Jim looks everywhere but at Oswald, whose hands have now moved to Jim´s cheeks. The touch is cool, like always, and he normally would find it to be soothing but now his heart is beating like it wants to jump out of his chest.

“Are you alright?”, Oswald asks, forcing Jim to look at him. His pupils are still blown wide, courtesy of their latest make-out session Jim just rudely interrupted, and he´s breathing fast. Jim wants to kiss him again, hold him and never let go again. Fuck Gotham and the mob and his agenda to clean this city. It´s at that thought, that his common sense catches up with him again and he starts to panic.

He shakes his head forcefully, pushing Oswald away from him in the process and making his way to the door. One hand already on the handle, he turns slightly and risks a glance back. Oswald hasn´t moved. He still standing there, hands raised as if to placate someone – him, Jim´s mind helpfully supplies; maybe he even expected a blow, and that makes his stomach turn – starring at Jim like he´s gone crazy. Maybe he has.

“Jim?”

“I can´t- I… I have to go. Don´t call me again.”, Jim croaks, and then he´s out of the door and on the street before his resolve crumbles.

 

\-------

 

It started with a simple phone call, an invitation. Jim doesn´t know why he agreed in the first place, maybe because it´s just getting to much – the cases, Lee, _Barbara_ – and if there´s something Oswald does well it´s listen. Information make him thrive, even when they are trivial. And Jim´s desperate enough to not mind the risks that come with associating with Oswald Cobblepot.

They met up and Jim had been surprised to find their conversation to be nice. Awkward small talk, yes, but it had been more peaceful than his last weeks. Even in the GCPD he has to constantly watch his back, but as long as he´s useful to Oswald the club may be the safest place to be.

The next time, Jim had been running on coffee only for a week and had correspondingly not been in the best mood. He had stormed into the club, ignoring Butch and Gabe, making a beeline to Oswald´s office. Only later, after he had rambled about his case and colleagues and the mayor, did it occur to him, that they never tried to stop him nor seemed phased. He didn´t mention it and neither did Oswald, the other man opting instead to ask pointed question, redirecting Jim´s attention to seemingly unimportant details. Helping without _helping_.

Jim had called him as soon as he had the perps. Expressing his thanks but not knowing what more to say. There had been a long moment of silence, then another invitation. Jim had known that it was dangerous, getting closer, essentially working with the mob. Stupid. He had accepted nonetheless.

 

\--------------

 

They argued more often than friends should – and that´s what they are, Jim had to admit that – but it had still been friendship. Awkward and dangerous and frustrating. Comforting, with a sense of understanding.

There had been more to it, obvious even at the time of their first meeting after the pier. Stubborn, loyal, and driven, the both of them.

Jim should have known that this whole thing would go down sooner rather than later, most likely in flames with more than a few causalities to boot.

 

\--------------

 

There are no causalities that follow Jim´s abrupt departure, no threats, no surprise visits, nothing.

Jim catches himself starring at his phone more often than he can count, growing more frustrated each time. He makes Harvey nervous, if the increase in coffee and food on the other´s desk is any indication. Or, you know, the things he says.

“God, Jim, could you stop that?! You´re making me nervous. Look! I´ve even started shaking!”, Harvey exclaims and practically pushes his hands in Jim´s face.

“Maybe cut down on the coffee?”

“Not while you are still being weird.”

“What?! I´m acting like I always do! I´m fine.”

“You´re a shitty liar, Jim, no matter what you think.”

“I´m fine.”, Jim insists. Looks at his phone. Curses. Harvey raises his eyebrows.

“Sure you are.”, he mumbles. “Sure you are.”

 

\--------------

 

He´s not fine and it´s starting to really show. Not that Oswald seems to care.

“Detective.”

Jim turns so fast, he´s sure he should be getting whiplash. Oswald strides – well limps, but he looks so damn confident while doing it – through the police station, stops in front of Jim´s desk. Nods at Harvey.

“Penguin.”, Harvey doesn´t even really look up from his newspaper. “Visiting us to set another of Gotham´s **_truly innocent_ ** free?”

“No need for sarcasm, Detective. Just stopping by to do my civic duty and help our local heroes.”, Oswald responds with a bright smile. He doesn´t even try to make it look convincing. Jim hates it.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes.” Oswald sets an envelope in front of Harvey, and turns around. “Have a nice day, Detective.”, he says cheerfully over his shoulder while already walking away.

“Is it just me, or has it just gotten considerably colder?”

Jim stares at his partner. Harvey just shrugs and gives his newspaper the attention it seems to deserve.

 

\--------------

 

Cool hands slide over his back, nails scratching slightly over his skin. Jim grabs at soft sheets, arching into the sensation. He´s already panting, craving more contact, cursing the fact that there are so many clothes left to be removed. He only lost his shirt at this point. The hands push under the hem of his pants now, light touches, and Jim thinks he´s going mad. He grinds down, catching lips in a kiss that´s almost bruising. He threads his finger into dark hair, gasping for breath.

“I love you.”, he grinds out. He´s glad it´s out in the open, feels lighter than he has for weeks.

Oswald smiles at him, bright and **_real_**.

 

\---------------

 

He jerks awake, feeling like hell. Maybe he deserves it.

 

\--------------

 

“Come on, Jimbo. You know I hate our little heart to hearts, but it really is time to have another one. So, who broke your heart?” Harvey apparently decided that it´s a good day to deactivate his brain-to-mouth-filter and just bug the hell out of Jim.

“Did I ever tell you that you´re really annoying?”

“Daily.”

“And you never thought about what that could imply?”

“No, I ignore what you say most of the time.”

“Most of the time?”

“Okay. All of the time.” Jim rolls his eyes. Harvey shrugs.

“And you wonder why I **_don´t_** talk to you.”, Jim retorts.

Harvey smirks. “Aww, don´t be like that.” A moment later he fixes Jim with a stern look. “But real talk, kiddo. You know **_I_** don´t care about this sort of thing, but I know you do, so I´m telling you: Your work suffers. Talk to someone.”, he says. When Jim just stares back, he gets up.

“I´m going to visit Ed. Fetch me when you´ve finished throwing your little… whatever this is.”

 

\-------------

 

_Call me._

He gives in and texts Oswald. He gets no answer.

 

\------------

 

He feels guilty.

He throws himself in his work, manages just fine. Really. Harvey watches and shoots three people, claiming that he did it because otherwise he would have shot Jim, but Jim knows that he´s only alive because Harvey´s such a good shot and will always have his back.

That´s one thing to feel guilty about.

Then there´s Oswald. Who doesn´t call. Who doesn´t come walking into the GCPD. Who won´t even look at him when Jim finds his way to his club.

“Gabe, stand down.”, Oswald says, without looking up.

It makes Jim´s blood boil.

“Cobblepot.” God, it feels wrong.

“Detective. How can I be of service today?” Oswald´s voice is cold, barely controlled. “Because that´s what you´re here for, isn´t it? You only ever come to me when you need something.”

“That´s not tr-“

“Not true?! You- Don´t you dare calling me a liar!” Oswald is shouting now, getting in his face – looking him in the eye at last. “ ** _I_** always told you the truth! **_You_** are the one playing-“

“I´m not-“

“You are, James! You left, and I´m sure you have fun because you _love_ to pity yourself, but tell me, just _tell me_ , what have I done?!”

Jim swallows. Looks around the room, half hoping for an assassin to end everything. But they´re all alone, even Gabe had managed to vanish, and Oswald´s wrong. He´s wrong, because the only one at fault here is Jim with his nonexistent skills for actually talking about things and managing his emotions.

Jim turns away, slumping on a bar stool. He can feel Oswald´s eyes on his back, waiting. A few weeks ago, the last thing Jim would worry about in a situation like this was Oswald lashing out. Now, he´s not so sure. Jim closes his eyes. Maybe it´s time to talk. What has he got to lose?

“I love you.”

“What?!”, Oswald asks, followed by an unsure laugh, high pitched and so fake that Jim nearly cringes. It´s a throwback to the time when Fish had been the next big player in Gotham. Jim hates it.

“I love you. I realized that. And freaked.” Jim swallows, eyes fixed on the bar. “I´m sorry.”

Silence.

After a few moments he hears Oswald walking past him. Then a door.

He´s alone.

 

\----------------

 

_I won´t just throw myself at your feet again._

The ringtone of his phone wakes him up, and Jim´s sure that he never scrambled to read a text this fast before. At first he´s almost giddy, and then the feeling of dread sinks in.

This is it.

For a few moments he just sits on his bed, staring at the screen.

This is it.

 

\---------------

 

_I may not be averse to getting dinner, though._

***

**Author's Note:**

> So... I don´t know what brought that on, but here´s an one-shot?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it. If so (or if not), please consider leaving some feedback?
> 
>  
> 
> (I hope there aren´t too many errors, and the story has something resembling a flow, because I thought about everything I knew about writing, forgot about it, and wrote the whole thing without proofreading or even remembering the beginning at the end. ^.^)


End file.
